Excel meets DBZ
by Lady Tauntaun
Summary: I am no more.
1. Transport to the DBZ World

Excel meets DBZ  
  
Disclaimer: You know it. . .   
  
Author's Note: This is based on a strange dream I had one night, so blame my mind for creating this piece of poodoo, not me!  
  
Introduction: Transport to the DBZ world.  
  
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"Going to see Ilpalazoo-sama, going to see what plans he has in store for Excel and Hyatt-chan." Excel Excel sang rather badly, riding her bike down the street.  
  
"Arwoo?" Menchi, who was sitting in the basket, whined, covering his ears with his paws.  
  
"Going to see Ilpalaz-AHHHHHHHH!" Excel screamed as she hit a bump in the road and flew over the handle bars, landing face first on the concrete.  
  
"Ow." Excel whined, standing up, blood streaming from her nose "What did I hit?" She looked down and saw Hyatt laying on the ground, dead as a doornail.  
  
"Hyatt-chan!" Excel ran over to her and grabbed her shoulders. "Don't die Hyatt-chan!" She shook her shoulders and her eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Oh, Senior Excel." Hyatt said weakly.  
  
"What the big idea dying where I can hit you?" Excel asked angrily.  
  
"Sorry Senior Excel." Hyatt said again and coughed and died again.  
  
"Come on Menchi, let's go." Excel told him, hefting Hyatt onto her shoulders.  
  
"Rowrr." Menchi groaned, climbing out of the wreckage of the bike. Then all of a sudden, the sky turned black and a tornado came down in front of them and sucked them up in it.  
  
"I'm spinning!" Excel yelled as they spun in the darkness of the tornado and got dropped off in front of the Capsule Corps.  
  
"Where is this place?" Excel asked herself, dropping Hyatt, who was still dead, off her shoulders.  
  
"What happened Senior Excel?" Hyatt asked, getting woozily to her feet.  
  
"I don't think we're in City F anymore." Excel told her, looking at the Capsule Corps.  
  
"Hey, who are you?" A blue haired women in a shory red dress carrying a baby asked Excel.  
  
"I'm Excel Excel." Excel said, saluting.  
  
"I'm Hyatt." Hyatt said weakly then fell over onto Excel.  
  
"AHHHHH! Hyatt-chan, don't die on me! Die on the ground!" Excel yelled, pushing Hyatt off her.  
  
Oh my god, should I call an ambulance?" The lady with the baby asked.  
  
"No, she'll be fine in a minute." Excel said airly, nudging Hyatt with her foot. "What's your name? I didn't catch it." Excel added.  
  
"I'm Bulma and this is my baby Trunks." The lady said, smiling.  
  
"Oh, he's so cute." Excel gushed, her eyes getting all big and starry.  
  
"Thanks." Bulma said proudly. "Do you want to come inside?"  
  
"Sure." Excel said, hefting Hyatt back on her shoulders. "Come on Menchi." She said, following Bulma into the Capsule Corps. 


	2. Toilet Paper Ilpalazoo

Excel meets DBZ  
  
Disclaimer: You know who owns who. . .  
  
Author's note: This is based on a strange dream I had, so blame my mind for creating this piece of poodoo, not me!  
  
Chapter One: Toilet Paper Ilpalazoo  
  
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"Wow! Nice place you got here. I especially like what you did with the decorations!" Excel said, looking at the colored streamers and other decorations that hung from the ceiling and windows.  
  
"Thanks. I'm having a party today." Bulma told her, putting Trunks on the floor.  
  
"For what?" Excel asked, dumping Hyatt on the floor next to the couch.  
  
"It's just a little get together." Bulma told her.  
  
"Woman, where's my toothbrush?" Vegeta yelled, walking into the room, wearing light blue pajamas with yellow duckies on them.  
  
"Oh he's so cute!" Excel squealed, running over to Vegeta. "His hair is so pointy and cool looking and he's so short, and- " She got cut off when Vegeta pulled a pistol out of nowhere and shot Excel across the room.  
  
"Will! Where are you Will?" Excel shouted as she floated through space.  
  
"I'm right here Excel Excel." The Will said, appearing in front of her.  
  
"I need to be brought back to life." Excel told The Will, grinning.  
  
"Okay." The Will said and put Excel back in her body.  
  
"Whoa, you got a temper on you." Excel told Vegeta, standing up from the floor.  
  
"I'm glad to see that you're okay." Hyatt said from her place on the couch.  
  
"I'M glad that you're finally alive." Excel responded.  
  
"Rowr." Menchi said, looking at Excel.  
  
"Vegeta!" Bulma yelled, snatching the gun from his hand. "You don't go shooting guest or anyone else at that matter. You're setting a bad example for Trunks."  
  
Vegeta just growled and crossed his arms.  
  
"Oh, and your toothbrush is under the sink where you left it last." Bulma added as Vegeta stomped of to get dressed. Hyatt then started hacking uncontrollably.  
  
"Are you okay?" Bulma asked, looking at Hyatt.  
  
"Yes ma'am, I'll be fine." Hyatt said between hacks, a line of blood coming from the corner of her mouth.  
  
"Do you need something to drink?"  
  
"No ma'am, I'm okay now." Hyatt told her, wiping the blood from her mouth.  
  
"Alright if you say so." Bulma said, shrugging. She glanced down at her watch. "We have about twenty minutes before the guests come. I better go get change for the party."  
  
"Okay." Excel said, running around the table. Bulma just gave her a weird look and walked off.  
  
"Isn't this cool Hyatt-chan?" Excel squealed, now spinning in place in the center of the living room.  
  
"Yes Senior Excel, it's-" She stopped as she started coughing and fell off the couch, dead.  
  
"You know, I just realized something, this place is missing something." Excel said, stopping in mid spin. "I just don't know what-oh I know!" She squealed, running off to look for a bathroom.  
  
"Um, Excel, are you okay? You've been awfully quiet." Bulma said, walking into the living room, dressed in a sky blue sundress. "Where did she go?"  
  
"I don't know, Bulma-san." Hyatt answered, pulling herself back on the couch.  
  
"Hail Ilpalazoo-sama!" Excel yelled, pulling a life size, realistic statue of Ilpalzoo made of toilet paper and disposable razors behind her.  
  
"What the hell is that?" Bulma yelled, staring at the statue.  
  
"It's Ilpalazoo sama-." Excel said, smiling.  
  
"No, I will not have that thing where people can see it." Bulma told Excel.  
  
Excel gasped. "You dare call Ilpalazoo-sama a thing?"  
  
"It's obviously an inanimate object." Bulma told her.  
  
Excel took a good look at it and nodded. "You're right, he is an inanimate object. Okay, if you don't want him where people can see it, I'll leave him in the bathroom." Excel said, dragging him back to the bathroom.  
  
"That girl is weird." Bulma said, shaking her head.  
  
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You like this so far? I hope you do! Leave a review before you leave! 


	3. The JLo dress and Electronic, talking Di...

Excel meets DBZ  
  
Disclaimer: You know who owns who. . .  
  
Author's note: This is based on a strange dream I had, so blame my mind for creating this piece of poodoo, not me!  
  
Chapter 2: The J.Lo dress and electronic, talking dictionaries.  
  
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"Everyone's going to be here in ten minuets." Bulma announced, glancing at her watch.  
  
"Hey, check this out!" Excel squealed, walking out of the bathroom wearing the infamous green J.Lo dress.  
  
"Where did you find that?" Bulma asked, staring at the dress.  
  
Well, I was putting Ilpalazoo-sama in the bathroom and I saw something green sticking out from a crack behind the sink. I got curious and pulled it out and saw that it was this. I thought it was cute so I put it on." Excel explained.  
  
"Is that what you did with my J.Lo dress Vegeta?" Bulma asked, glaring at him.  
  
Vegeta, who was wearing the pink Badman shirt with a pair of jeans, just looked at the ceiling innocently.  
  
"That's a pretty dress Senior Excel." Hyatt complimented. The she started choking and fell over on Vegeta.  
  
"Get off woman!" Vegeta yelled, pushing Hyatt off him. "What's wrong with you?"  
  
"Oh she's just dead. She'll be fine." Excel told him airily, walking around the room like a runway model.  
  
"If you say so." Vegeta said, shrugging.  
  
Excel stopped doing her model walk and looked at Vegeta.  
  
"That shirt looks nice on you, pink's definitely your color." She told him.  
  
"Don't make me use this again." Vegeta growled, pulling the pistol out of nowhere again and pointing it at Excel.  
  
"What did I tell you about that gun?" Bulma asked, putting her hands on her hips. Just then, the doorbell rang.  
  
"That's probably them. Vegeta put that gun away." Bulma said, running to the door.  
  
"What's going on Senior Excel?" Hyatt asked, getting slowly up from the floor.  
  
"We have guests!" Excel said jumping up. When she landed, she went right through the floor and landed on a hard, concrete block, dying instantly.  
  
"Will, I need you to work your magic again." Excel said as she floated through space (again)  
  
"You have to be more careful Excel Excel." The Will told her and put Excel back in her body (again)  
  
"The Will was even nice enough to fix the floor too!" Excel said, testing the spot on the floor where she fell through with her foot.  
  
"Okay that wasn't them, it was the mailman. He told me to give you this." Bulma said, handing Excel a small package in brown wrapping that said FRAGILE across the top in red letters.  
  
"Mailmen always seem to know where you are. It's like they put tracking devices on us while we're sleeping or something." Excel said, ripping the paper off the package.  
  
"Woo-hoo! My electronic, talking dictionary came!" Excel yelled excitedly, pulling it out of the box.  
  
"Why would you need THAT for?" Bulma asked.  
  
"It funny to type in words that sound dirty or that are dirty then listen to them. Here check it out." She typed something then pressed enter.  
  
"Seersucker." The dictionary said in its monotone, female voice.  
  
"Isn't that funny?" Excel giggled.  
  
"Yes, it's hilarious." Bulma said, not looking a bit amused.  
  
"Muckraker." The dictionary said and Excel fell on the floor giggling.  
  
"You are one strange girl." Bulma told Excel, looking at her strangely.  
  
"Thank you." Excel said, flashing the peace sign and grinning.  
  
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The gang is sure taking a long time to get here aren't they? They'll be here soon, like in the next chapter. Leave a review before you leave! 


	4. Eating Contest

Excel meets DBZ  
  
Disclaimer: You know who owns who. . .  
  
Author's note: The dream gets kinda fuzzy here, so I'll make up the stuff I don't remember. Oh, and brown-sugar suggested the eating contest.  
  
Chapter 4: Eating contest  
  
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"They're ten minutes late." Bulma said, glancing at her watch.  
  
"Dickey." The dictionary said from the kitchen followed by Excel's insane giggling and Menchi's annoyed growl.  
  
"Senior Excel, can I type in a word?" Hyatt, who was sitting in a chair by the doorway, asked.  
  
"Sure Hyatt-chan, type away." Excel said, handing the dictionary over to Hyatt. Hyatt typed something in and pressed enter.  
  
"Diaphragm." The dictionary said and Excel collapsed into giggles. Then, the doorbell rang.  
  
"That has to be them." Bulma said, scurrying to the door and pulling it open.  
  
"Hi." Goku greeted, a goofy smile planted on his face.  
  
"Your late." Bulma said, glaring at him and tapping her foot.  
  
"Well it was Chi-Chi's fault, you know how long girls take to get dressed."  
  
"It only took me 20 minutes to get dressed, you were the one that set us behind." Chi-Chi, who was wearing a knee-length sparkly black dress said.  
  
"I can't help it if I had to go Number 2 right before we had to leave." Goku told her.  
  
"Too much information." Bulma said. "Well, come on in."  
  
"Okay." Goku said, walking into the house.  
  
"Hello guest!" Excel greeted, appering in front of Goku out of nowhere and hugged him tightly.  
  
"Bulma, who is this?" Goku asked, trying to pry Excel off him.  
  
"That's Excel. She's staying here with her friend Hyatt and dog Menchi.  
  
"Hello guest." Hyatt said weakly then started hacking and fell over.  
  
"Hyatt-chan, you've been dying an awful lot lately." Excel said, letting go of Goku. "Oo, another guest!" She said, spotting Chi-Chi and giving her a hug too.  
  
"Nice to meet you too." Chi-chi said, wiggling out of Excel's hug.  
  
"Wait a minute, did you just say she was dead?" Goku asked, pointing at Hyatt's lifeless form.  
  
"Yeah. She'll be fine in a couple minutes or so." Excel told him.  
  
"Where's Gohan?" Bulma asked Chi-Chi as she sat down on the couch.  
  
"He's training with Piccolo. He should be here in a few minutes."  
  
"Who's Piccolo?" Excel asked Chi-Chi.  
  
"Some green freak with pointy ears who's TRYING TO TAKE MY SON FROM ME!" She finished with a scream, getting to her feet, her ki flaring.  
  
"Honey, calm down!" Goku said from his spot on the floor.  
  
Chi-Chi took a deep breath and sat back down.  
  
"Okay, that was unexpected." Excel said, staring at Chi-Chi.  
  
"I'm hungry." Goku said suddenly, walking over to the buffet table.  
  
"Me too." Excel said, following him.  
  
"Mmmmmmmmmmmm, yummy!" Excel said, filling her plate with all the deliciouse food on the table. Goku glanced over at her heaping plate and scowled and put more food on his plate. Excel glanced at Goku's plate and put more on hers. This started a "see who can get the most food on their plate" competition.  
  
"EATING CONTEST!" Excel screamed and began eating, spraying food and spit all over the place.  
  
"Oh this'll be good." Bulma said, sitting down by Chi-Chi.  
  
"You can never out eat me!" Goku said and began eating in the same manner Excel was.  
  
"Watch me!" She said, stuffing the last bit of food in her mouth and going off to get more.  
  
"No way!" Goku yelled, following her.  
  
"Getting full yet?" Excel asked Goku, stuffing food in her mouth.  
  
"You wish." Goku retorted, stuffing his mouth with food also.  
  
Twenty minutes later. . .   
  
"I win!" Goku yelled, throwing down the last of the twenty plates that were surrounding him.  
  
"No fair!" Excel said, throwing down her seventeenth plate.   
  
"Come on, you did good." Goku told her.   
  
"Really?" She asked. Goku nodded.  
  
"Thank you!" Excel said, giving Goku a tight hug.  
  
"Um, that's not a very good idea." Goku warned her.  
  
"Why not?" She asked. Just then, Goku threw up all over the floor.  
  
"Oh, I guess that's why." Excel said, looking extreamly grossed out.  
  
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Another short chapter, but I hope this was funny! Leave a review on your way out! 


	5. Piccychan and Foghorns

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Excel meets DBZ  
  
Disclaimer: You know who owns who. . .  
  
Author's note: Sadly, the dream ends here. But don't let that get you down, I'll keep writting and see if I can live up to my mind's expectations.  
  
Chapter 5: Piccy-chan and Foghorns

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"My knees hurt, can Excel clean the floor for a little bit?" Goku whined as he stopped scrubbing the spot on the floor where his throw up landed with a toothbrush.  
  
"Hey, I'm have enough with the windows." Excel said, standing on a ladder, scrubbing the window with a sponge.  
  
"Yeah, but the floor has the most on it. I think you took the windows on purpose." Goku said, scrubbing a particually stubborn spot really hard.  
  
"Don't scrub so hard, you'll make a floor in the hole." Bulma said.  
  
"You mean a hole in the floor." Chi-Chi corrected.  
  
"Yeah that too." (A/N-This is a joke me and my cousin started)  
  
"Hey, more people are coming." Excel announced, jumping off the ladder.  
  
"Rangoon" The dictionary said. Menchi rolled his eyes. Hyatt giggled weakly, then started hacking.  
  
"Who?" Bulma asked, rising from the couch and looking out the window.  
  
"I don't know, but one must be a little sick, he's green." Excel told her. "Oh, and the other's a little kid with black hair."  
  
"That's my Gohan!" Chi-Chi said, jumping up off the couch and running to the window and threw it open.  
  
"Gohan! Sweetie! You finally made it!" She yelled out the window. Excel, Hyatt, and Menchi covered their ears.  
  
"Is it foggy out or something?" Excel asked, glancing around out the window, hoping to find some fog or something.  
  
"What?" Chi-Chi questioned.  
  
"You sounded the foghorn so where's the fog?" Excel was now leaning dangerously out the window, still looking for fog.  
  
"Foghorn?" Chi-Chi was now compleatly lost.  
  
"Yeah. You sounded like a foghorn when you yelled, so I was wondering where the fog was." Excel was now hanging so far out the window, her legs were up in the air.  
  
"Senior, be careful you're going to fall." Hyatt warned, appearing behand her suddenly.  
  
"Don't worry Hat-chan, I'll be-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Excel fell from the window. No one made an attempt to catch her though, they we're too busy staring at the ceiling and whistling innocently.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHH! I'M FALLING AND I'M GOING TO GO SPLAT ON THE GROUND!" Excel yelled, flailing around in the air. "WILL, BE PREPARED TO RESURRECT ME!" Right befor she hit the ground, she landed in Piccolo's arms.  
  
"Am I dead?" She asked, looking around. Then she realized she was in someone's arms. Someone strong, and green.  
  
"Hello Green man, you saved my life!" She squealed, and glomped Piccolo around the neck. "I'm forever grateful to you, my saviour!" Piccolo just stood there, his eyes wide with shock.  
  
"You know, besides the green skin, you're really cute." Excel observed. Piccolo blushed a nice shade of purple at that remark.  
  
"Gohan, get in the house!" Chi-Chi yelled from the window.  
  
"I don't see any fog." Gohan said, looking around.

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Short I know, but it's an update! I'm also open to suggestions since the dream ended. I'll take the ones I think are funny or good or both.   
  
Leave a review on your way out!


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